diaryofarider

Spring again

2018-05-07T22:14:52Z

It's time for a random post, not much is new at the moment- I haven't signed up (yet) for a horse show in a month- I'm not feeling very ready. Unfortunately the season as far as shows near me, is during the month of may and like the first week of june- then nothing till August and September.
So I either take the plunge and hit the first week of June, or just wait till August. Still on the fence.
My neighbor is a nightmare, they moved in about a year ago, and the husband works on cars. Almost every day. With lots of power tools, the occasional tarp, and lots of paint sprayers (think loud hissing). Old cars and junk are in his back yard. It is ugly, loud, and smelly. Trudi is frequently frightened by it, I just hate it and fume. Also their dog will chase Trudi if we are cantering along the common fence. Unfortunately I don't have much space to relocate my arena- I can move it about 20 feet over, that's it. This will also require a lot of labor and money on my part. I'm not sure if it will help but I may try to work toward that this year. We may also put up a privacy fence, so at least we won't have to look at the junk, but it won't help with the noise and the exhaust and paint fumes. I want to move but really we can't afford another horse property within an hour of our current location, and hubby doesn't want to leave the city.
In other news, Trudi is 16! So crazy. :)
Also, I've had the trailer for a year. And driven it only once *facepalm*
I am still scared. Must make myself drive it some. *Gives self a stern look*
We'll see.

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jobinating

2017-10-10T18:50:33Z

Ah, so it has been 6 months since my last confession. I'm in an unhappy place again, after getting an email from my boss about he values work life balance, and then getting several texts for work stuff after 9 pm. The most recent one was last night, after I was out sick that day, because surely no one ever stays home because they are sick and need to get better. I'd just taken some benedryl for my post nasal drip and after getting on a call for about 15 minutes, things got cut off by a network problem on campus. I went to bed and dozed a little but mainly obsessed about the work issue. I was up at 5:30, checked my email, found the issue was solved without me (as I had originally predicted) but I put some of the thoughts I had been obsessing about into the email, fed Trudi, and crawled back into bed for an hour, where I laid awake listening to everyone else's alarms going off.
I'm thinking about other jobs, other fields, other careers.
Some thoughts-
I love horses. Always have. Not sure about how/what for a horse career, but a possibility, were I able to ride a bit better (working student sting is probably necessary for this)- but possible way to make a living might be doing these jobs (probably all of them)
Barn manager
Dressage instructor
Judge
Pet sitter

Other "good" jobs I might be able to move into:
medical imaging (x-ray/radiographer, catscan, mri)
ophthalmologist (glasses/contacts)
technical trainer or technical writer
technical sales rep
editor
teacher

Other jobs I might like-
hairstylist
office manager/admin assistant
police officer
clerk (for a petstore or a tack shop maybe?)

The horse thing is tricky. I'm quite old for a working student and not sure I'm physically capable. But I'm not getting any younger, and I'm at least mature. I was hoping after showing 2nd this year that I'd be eligible for the L program, but no, need to show a higher test (with a higher score) at 2nd, or get a 62 (3x) at 3rd.

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Lynne clinic

2017-06-12T17:38:06Z

We had an incredible time at the Lynne Kimball Davis clinic. The ranch where the clinic was held is unbelievable- it has breathtaking views of the mountains, absolutely stunning.
I slept terribly the night before, nervous even though I knew once I was riding that I would be able to focus on the lesson, intimidated by the grandeur of the facility- who am I, backyard rider whose horse lives in the garage? But everyone was very kind and the clinician was wonderful. She is very patient but absolutely attentive, even though I was the last ride on the first day she was there making corrections even when my mind started to wander a bit (which, this is a lesson I must learn and live, focus- people say ride every stride, which to me needs to mean be present, always. I have a tendancy to let my mind wander). Working on my position, strength, and fitness, is always difficult but absolutely worth it.
Trudi was great- she initially stopped and sniffed at the trailer when trainer tried to load her, but I asked him to let me try (she knows I have cookies) and thankfully she hopped on. I do think she likes the trailer ok.
Clinic notes-
Day 1
Drive, more squeeze into my hand. March March March past scary things
In canter, 10 strides walk, repeat, repeat, 10 strides big half halt. Count strides, this helps me to focus.
If she is hollow, not listening nor going into my hand, halt, falling down neck submission. Squeeze with leg, closed hand on rein till she gives, sometimes (Only sometimes) little inside flexion. Couple of walk steps, then canter FROM THE FALLING DOWN NECK.

Day 2
Collect the Canter. On the spot, really collect. If she breaks halt or walk, neck down, then into the canter, don't drop her, hold her into your hand. Relaxin is the reward, not dropping her- (this is hard for me, I give too much).
Walk volte haunches-in, canter, stay on the same line(keep riding the haunches in circle) walk, stay on the same line, canter, stay on the same line, then out.

Walk pirouette- collect the walk haunches In, move outside leg forward, not too small keep the rhythm.

The sit in the exercise on the second day was amazing, and we got some incredible walk/canter and canter/walk transitions.
Lynne said to me at one point, "I wish I could snatch you up" and I was like "You could!" :)
The main thing we worked on was getting and keeping Trudi's attention (March past the scary things, no spooking, go into my hand (Lynne- "You're a show horse, get over it" :D) and getting more throughness, no running, but still going, going into my hand. Go. March. This is the thing we most need and I am excited and a little afraid to hope that we really could get past the thing that has always been our biggest obstacle, her spooking and tension.

Initially we talked about Trudi and her strengths and weaknesses. Initially I did not think she liked Trudi much- she said that she was a bit sickle hocked with a high set tail- which I think is true. When she saw her move though she said she was beautiful and she liked her a lot, and talked about how the work we were doing would improve our canter pirouettes later on (so, hey, awesome, she believes we will do canter pirouettes in the future!)

I'm so thankful to trainer for the work he has done with us and how he has helped so much to make Trudi into a more solid citizen. She's a horse I can take to clinics and show and I believe in her.

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When is the answer not leg? Or- 90% of every riding lesson ever....

2017-06-08T18:17:56Z

Leg in the canter.
No, really, truly, LEG. SQUEEZE. HARD.
Seriously much better last night when I used leg FOR REAL, hard squeeze, like a transition to trot squeeze. I think because of Trudi's tendancy to run at the canter that even when told to use leg at the canter, I used only a little, not enough. Until last night, when I thought about how I really needed her to sit more in the canter, and needed her hind legs under her more, I started to actually squeeze, hard, and then was able to collect her, and got that canter-walk transition I was looking for. And then we did it again. And then I texted trainer and apologized for every time he told me to use leg in the canter, and I kinda did but not really.

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snarl

2017-04-26T20:57:38Z

Oh, I'm in a bad mood. I just want to bite something. Work has been really busy lately, and while it keeps me from being bored, I'm just tired and pissy. People keep asking me stuff and I can't get anything finished, and I'm stupid for not putting myself on busy/unavailable.

The weather has something to do with it too I'm sure, temp dropped and it rained last night, so I'm sure that is affecting me. There's also the question of "What are your professional goals" that's being asked at work, and so I have to think about this, and I hate thinking about this. I don't have any real career goals anymore. I haven't in over a decade. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, I'm fine for now with where I am. It's not ideal but the ship for my ideal has sailed. I am too old and not talented enough for it, if the ideal ever even existed and wasn't just a dream vs. another harsh reality. I don't have a new dream for what I want to be when I grow up, and I feel a little guilty about that, and a little defensive, and a little angry. I don't want to set the world on fire, I just want to not make it worse. But probably I have to tell some pretty little lie so that I'm not worthless because I have no ambition. Be motivated (or else you're too lazy) but not TOO motivated (or you're a flight risk). Though actually I'm not sure the latter part of that is true any more- companies often just want the most units of work per employee stint (or sprint, as is so common in techspeak these days) in the shortest time possible, and a short shelf life is ok. It isn't about a person, or his/her burnout, because that can't happen, because we are all so MOTIVATED. Anyway. Midlife crisis or something.

Did I mentioned it has rained and so I haven't ridden for the past 2 days?

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Easter weekend

2017-04-17T14:52:33Z

Had Friday off, and so did our first lesson of 2017. We kind of sucked for most of it, which was disappointing because Trudi was good Tues/Wed when I rode- but during our lesson she was distracted, stiff, and sort of just barging around without any throughness. However, she was better on Saturday, and then really super last night. I had been fighting with my body and wondering why it feels so hard to ride with all my body parts in the right places- to get my heels down while my legs are back far enough and to still try and sit on my butt- but somehow after we got all warmed up and I did some renvers and shoulder-in in canter- things just came together well and the canter was very well put together and Trudi was bending and listening. She made several mistakes- when I asked for trot from shoulder in she gave me silky smooth walk to canter, and then held that collected canter while I asked for trot, and when she understood the downward was smooth. Later she made the same mistake, again, with the same smooth, collected canter- so I didn't get upset about it, just brought her back and asked again. I made sure to hand graze her afterward and she's getting today off.
Easter was good- spent the latter half of Saturday grocery shopping and doing dishes, then Sunday more cleaning, and I made my first prime (ok, choice) rib roast. The crust was very good, my aus ju a failure due to not having a can of beef broth on hand- but it turned out not to be necessary as the meat was tender and juicy enough to eat on its own. Put the kiddo to work on the roasted brussel sprouts and crescent rolls, and a friend brought a dish of scalloped sweet and russet potatoes, wine and cake. Hubby made a super sangria out of the red wine and lemon, mandarin oranges, blackberries and raspberries. Maybe that was why my ride went so well. ;)

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new boss, new blog

2017-04-10T17:09:57Z

So new boss starts today, I brought in donuts-- "Have to suck up to the new boss!" I told him, and another coworker. :)

New boss was hubby's old boss, and seems like a nice guy, so hopefully all goes well. Unfortunately our big boss seems a bit disorganized so instead of all of us getting to enjoy our shiny new boss, he's off in another building while some long-delayed construction in our area apparently starts today.

Weekend was good- I had a short ride Saturday before an easter family thing at the mother in law's- kids did a little egg hunt, people ate ham, deviled eggs, and dessert.
Sunday I rode while the kiddo and hubby went to a car show. Trudi was not super considering it was windy and she and I are out of shape after 2 weeks off, but I actually felt like I rode pretty well, sitting deep, staying tall in my upper body, keeping my leg on- and emotionally I was very chill, which was really nice. We didn't do anything spectacular except toward the end, I felt like she had a very good, powerful trot. She's also started shedding in earnest, so I think she actually lacked energy for part of the ride (probably a good thing considering the wind!).

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