I'm afraid to say it, but I think I may be getting the hang of this.

After my existential lesson on Saturday, I was sore but thoughtful. Peggy had commented on my progress since I started riding with her. "God help the horse you rode, because you weren't getting off till you wanted to, but your riding was sort of 2 dimensional. Now you're developing...more like 3 or 4 dimensions." I had a secure seat and a lot of experience. I could stay on a horse even when he shied, bucked, or reared. I had confidence in myself and my ability to stay in control, and I could put a horse on the bit and make him go forward, but I constantly forced things and carried the horse all the time instead of making him take some responsibility. There was little subtlety and my position was that of a defensive rider who trains alone- hunched over, heels forced way down, constantly looking at the horse or the ground below instead of keeping my eyes up and looking between his ears.
The weather was gorgeous, cool enough to be comfortable but with plenty of sunshine and a lovely view of the mountains. The sky was brilliant blue and the grass smelled fresh. Horses grazed in the pasture next to us, and Peggy was riding her lovely gray stallion, and Laura was riding the pretty black mare, Griffon. We were off for labor day, and it was a perfect day to be on a horse.
I was sore as we got going, but I concentrated on relaxing my legs and giving Phoebus a chance to move, and on not holding him with either my hands or legs, just giving little bumps with no chance for him to hang or brace. I concentrated on trying to stay more upright in the saddle and not fall behind. He started to work pretty quickly (a nice change), and after we warmed up I cantered to the left, which was fine, as usual, then to the right. He took the canter fine the first time, then I brought him back to a trot and asked again. Wrong. I stopped and asked again. Wrong. Again- correct. I trotted again and thought about tension. I could feel it in his sides as he waited for me to ask for the canter again. I asked him to bend to the right and give on the inside rein. He resisted for a moment, then gave in. I asked for the canter at that moment and the transition was great. AHA... the light bulb flickered and came on again. I made the downward transition and again asked him to give on the inside. He did, and as soon as I felt him supple I asked again. Another nice transition. After the third one I got brave enough to tell Peggy, "I'm afraid to say it, but I think I may be getting the hang of this." She was riding Leroy but watching us now and again, and she smiled and said, "I think so too."
We went on and did some lateral work, which was good. Phoebus was getting very supple and free. We did trot-walk, walk-trot transitions and Phoebus suddenly volunteered a beautiful trot from the walk- he sprang quietly but energetically into it and had great suspension. I nearly fell off in surprise- Phoebus NEVER volunteers to do anything. I patted and praised him, and then asked him to collect. I thought about half halting with my abs (probably tone me up better than crunches) and I kept thinking "Up, Up, UP!" Phoebus collected and held it for a few strides, then I let the energy out and he did a super transition to medium trot. I was as proud as could be. "Did you see that?" I asked Peggy, like a kid who just summersaulted off the diving board. "Yeah," she replied, "Good job!"
I think that's the best Phoebus has ever been for me. It was a great day and a great ride. I felt like I finally surpassed myself at my best, like I really did get past the training-level rider. It may all go to hell again at the next ride, but I don't think so. I know I'm making real progress.