(no subject)

I think I really may have figured something out. Being able to focus is really helping me to feel so many more things, more often. It's pretty exhausting though! I get done riding and it's like "my brain is tired! This is too much work!". :) My muscles have been feeling it too. It feels like they have been working, but they are not so tight or painful, which I think comes from exercising them in a more relaxed state. I hope I can maintain this- I feel like I have made some really big steps this week.
Trudi is so funny- I think now I'm giving her the constant instruction she craves as well as being more relaxed. When I'm focused her ears are always moving a bit and I think if I could see her face she would look like she is concentrating and very serious (She has some of the best facial expressions I've ever seen on a horse- I think it's her eyes) It's like she can constantly ask "What are we doing? Do this? Do this? What should I do?" and I am right there telling her. We managed to actually rebalance a few times in the areas where she gets quick and stiff, and we had some really wonderful sitting trot- I wasn't sitting the absolute best all the time, but she was totally through and with a little more work I will be able to sit it very well. She was pretty proud of herself each time I praised her- if I stopped to pet her she would bring her nose around and be all like, "Yeah, I'm good, pet me now".
Only problem is I am SOOOO slow. I have to walk forever to really get settled and my brain is taking a long time to go through my mental checklist- I think this will probably improve over time though.